Shards of Glass

Daily experiences package themselves in a variety of ways. Some may open to traumatic endings, some may carry endless joy, but most seem to unwrap small elements of surprise in an otherwise predictable life.

Last night my kids wanted to have an Applebee's steak dinner, then play a round of miniature golf for our Family Home Evening (FHE) activity. But, since we had a couple Texas Roadhouse gift cards burning a hole in the pocket, we made arrangements for call-ahead seating and settled on dining at the Roadhouse instead.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we were immediately given a cozy booth. I motioned my husband to scoot in, so I could be on the end to assist my son, who was sitting in a high chair. Greg introduced himself as our server, then introduced Jacob as a recent hire and a server-in-training. We exchanged pleasantries as the young men took our drink orders and gave us time to review the menu.

Within a few moments, Jacob-in-training returned, balancing a large tray of glasses filled with soda on his left hand. While he reached across me with his right hand to set a cherry limeade in front of my husband, a lady passed by our table. As Jacob-in-training simultaneously leaned in to get out of her way, he instantly lost grip of the tray, a loud SHATTER! rang through the building, and I was instantly drenched with soda. In a wave of ice cold shock, I yelped...then busted up giggling! Everyone around me giggled. The empty tray left a long trail of sopping wet evidence from the soft, brown hair on my head, through my crotch, and down to my cherry red toenails. Shivering in sloshing pools of soda, I proclaimed, "That was the ultimate ice bucket challenge!"

Needless to say, the shards of glass that scathed my clothing and sliced my fingers paid for our entire meal. We left a generous tip on the table, alongside my daughter's hand-written napkin note (which thanked Greg and Jacob for a great evening).

If we had dined at Applebee's, as originally planned, this mis-hap may have been missed happening. And what a shame that would have been. When any element of surprise presents itself, I choose to bask in whatever experience it offers. This incident produced a lasting memory for my family, and renewed gratitude that I write with my left hand. My only hope here is that Jacob-in-training remains on the payroll to become Jacob-the-server...

Beach Therapy

I never realized how much I would miss going to the beach when I moved a great distance away from it. A day trip to the ocean was often a necessity during my years at Fresno State. When preparations for difficult tests overwhelmed me, or when unpleasant life situations weighed me down, an afternoon relaxing on a soft, sandy beach--drowning in negative ions during rain or shine--cleansed my thoughts and reminded me of the significant role my existence plays in an often insignificant world.

Physiologically speaking, iron carries oxygen to each cell of the body. Both are imperative elements to survival. The core of the earth is made of iron. It has been noted that ocean waves are the heartbeat of the earth, which are controlled by the position of the moon. Negative ions, which are generated by the ocean surf, naturally cleanse the air while boosting oxygen levels. Thus, enhancing mood and stabilizing emotional/mental focus. 

It only stands to reason (with nearly 5000 scientific proofs circulating) that my recent visit to Marina State Beach was a beautifully grand therapeutic session.

[Taking a deep breath of refreshing sea air]

Ahhh! Monterey Bay, until we meet again...

Beyond the Sometimes

One day, Kristin questioned, "Mommy, do you love me?"

I immediately replied, "Sometimes."

Her wide smile shrunk and her big brown eyes drooped. She stopped in her tracks, with a shock in her expression that would have absorbed the worst of fears.

After a stark moment of silence, I continued to explain, "Sometimes I love you more than you could ever imagine; sometimes I love you for the person you are becoming; sometimes I love you for the person you are creating within me, sometimes I love you for your strengths; sometimes I love you for facing your weaknesses; sometimes I love you just because I do. But, never forget that I will always love you, forever...beyond the sometimes."

My MS Roller Coaster

The happenings of life are often likened to the twists and turns of a wild roller coaster, which invite a continual rush of breathtakingly frightening excitement at every shift. As a seasoned veteran of thrill-ride appreciation, I much prefer that my coasters host a certain flair of mixed leverage, combining slow, giant climbs with short, quick revolutions. Luckily (or unfortunately--depending on the angle), the events of 2015 surpassed my imagination of unexpected thrill, and left me dangling with intense curiosity as to what awaits me over the next twelve months.

Lit with the fast-paced highs of reuniting with my only true love, renewing my spiritual lease, and happily moving back to my hometown in Idaho, my coaster the past year also experienced the lows of a major mechanical glitch--an irresolute glitch, to boot. It temporarily derailed when the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis obstructed my course near the end of April.

 After a series of shock waves, contemplation, and research, the ride is now back on track, but requires constant adjustments to maintain its proper function.

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is probably the scariest, most unpredictable ride I have experienced in life. Like the original Space Mountain attraction at Disneyland, it is a blind-faith amusement ride. Encased in the throws of outer darkness, the seemingly invisible track provides only a warped sense of direction. Most days, the best I can do to survive is silently cry, outwardly giggle, and enjoy the ride!

My main goal for 2016 is to enhance my own dynamic understanding of MS by launching a new blog specific to this disease. It is a blog for me to cope with me. I titled it MStryMe.blogspot.com because I have become my own personal spectator on this wildly mysterious ride. And when I behold how the mystery encompasses me, I bravely declare, "MS, try me!"

Grand Ideas

For some reason, my grand ideas seemingly appear out of nowhere, like a partially eaten apple that has been discarded atop an open street-corner trash can. They rarely come with a known beginning...and are usually accompanied by a suspected, yet uncertain, ending.

The Lanyard Connection

I am grateful when my teenagers listen to my political soapbox ideologies, then do their own research or thinking on matters, and recognize when their personal freedoms are being threatened.  Thankfully, my 15-year-old son has a knack for placing reliable application against precarious observation when red flags appear in his surroundings.

Sitting around the dinner table the other night, he shared with me how his history teacher reviewed some interesting points of the Holocaust. In class that day, the students watched some footage of German children being herded to "school" like cattle. It is here that my son would normally drift into daydream mode, but something struck his attention. Each child in the video clip was either stamped with a number across his belly or was tagged with a jewish star, and ALL the children suffered harsh consequences for non-compliance of rules. As he sat in class, his eyes browsing through rows of peers, the light bulb flicked on. One word came to his mind: LANYARDS!

Each student in the district is required to wear a lanyard, attached to a picture ID, around his neck all day, every day, during school hours and at affiliated functions. Non-compliant children are punished with any combination of detention, suspension, or (ultimately) expulsion.

I smiled at his brilliant connection, then responded with three simple words, "Common Core, baby!"

Coincidentally, the ID lanyard requirement for students in this area was enacted simultaneously with the institution of Common Core...Hmmm.

I Wish My Children Observed Me Then

Viewing re-plays of the recent Olympic figure skating competition transports me back to long hours I spent practicing at the Iceland rink as a teenager.  Then, I had an unbundled amount of energy, endless stamina, and an undying determination to succeed.  My coach referred to me as a “natural” when I so gracefully skated.  Since then, my older years have sucked most of that energy and diminished the majority of skills I once possessed—mainly because the competitive level achievements ironically deteriorated my skeletal structures over time.  Even though I can still feel the required movements when I review them in my mind, my physical body can no longer properly execute them.  My children have watched me gather speed along the ice on a few occasions (like in the photo displayed here), witnessing strength in spins and my favorite (flip) jump—which I still do off the ice, constantly.  

But, oh! How I wish my children could have been by my side, to observe me back then…because I wonder how it would change their perception of me now. 

The Common Core Shift: Which Direction?

High school sophomores should NOT be given in-class assignments to read, then annotate, articles that depict explicit pornographic trends and sexual behaviors in the Japanese culture.  Initially, it defies my approval for exposure to corrupt subject matter during school hours, but it inexorably illustrates a failed attempt to instill proper literary structure necessary for successful critical thinking.

Welcome to the Common Core State Standards Initiative, where "maximizing the Common Core involves a change in creativity, critical thinking, and a fundamental shift in relationships."

Did you catch that? A change!  I'm all about improvement.  But, my concern here is: in which direction?

According to novemberlearning.com "The Common Core State Standards (CCSS) are not intended to be new names for old ways of doing business.  They are a call to take the next step."  Huh?  That's not vague [insert sarcasm].  The old ways of reading, writing, and 'rithmatic, which have been established for centuries, are being dumped near the bottom of the stoop while we take the next step.  Where?  Upward...to fizzled potential?  Or, perhaps, downward...to a dismal and oppressed generation?


Study with real-world involvement text does not apply literary devices critical for improving logic and reasoning.

See the irony there?  Probably not, if you're a Common Core recipient.  So, let me break it down a bit.  Critical thinking is the new standard focus in ALL subjects, yet (ironically) it is quickly being twisted, corrupted, and extracted from the curriculum.  For example, if my son gets the wrong answer on a math equation, he can now receive full credit for the assignment...so long as he can "reason" his way to the incorrect answer.  Or, take the picture attached to this installment.  Comical, at first.  Yet, in Common Core curriculum, this mistake is acceptable...since you can "reason" that the person painting the word used all the correct letters; it does not matter that the letters are in the wrong order.  Is the light bulb turning on yet?  Probably not, if you're a Common Core recipient.  Let me just sound out this one:  children are being taught to rationalize (as opposed to critically think), with no respect to right or wrong.

A begging discussion regarding the chaos of raising a generation with no viable mathematical or writing skills is nipping at my heels, but will be reserved for a different blog.  The point for today is that valuable--key word, there--critical thinking skills require learning, gaining an understanding of, then applying an array of literary elements (such as plot, theme, dialogue) and techniques (like imagery, simile, allegory).  These devices are generally found in literature--AKA creative writing--not informative text given across all academic disciplines.

Critical thinking is discerning judgment based on standards.  It is the intellectual tool which improves quality of thinking, and in its simplest manifest is "the art of taking charge of your own mind"  (criticalthinking.org).

Common Core pursues the critical thinking platform while (again, ironically) diminishing and stealing the crucial reasoning (not rationalizing) processes of a child's mind.  When each individual child is leveled to the same playing field as all other children via reading only informational, real-world statistics, there is nowhere else for each child's imagination to soar:  no plot in which to plunge; no analogies to create; no escape from the facts. Classic literature is vital to understanding the possibilities of the future.

The Common Core shift poses numerous questions with no solid answers.  It literally removes the critical from 'critical thinking' skills...leaving each child destitute in mind.

Rest In Peace; Live With Peace

Fifteen years ago today, we tightly hugged, then somberly waved farewell as I struggled to keep my eyes dry. We both knew it was our last meeting.

We stole every waking moment of the prior evening giggling about our past, expressing genuine love for each other, and discussing the unknown future: life after death...for both of us. 

He assured me his heart would rest in peace and wanted to ensure mine would live with peace, regardless of understanding.

We enjoyed an extraordinary spread of Brick Oven delights, but the company is what captured my memory. If only I could share one more moment with him.

He occasionally visits me in my dreams.  Usually in a serene park setting, he'll be standing near a tree, or leaning against a car in the parking lot. But we don't speak, and we never touch. He just observes from a short distance. His face looks vibrantly youthful, he remains calm, and he is free from suffering. That makes me happy. The faint smile he offers when our eyes meet brings me comfort beyond measure.

Every time, no matter the dream setting, his countenance remains the same; he does not change.  And I feel an overwhelming expression of love.

Then I wake up and cry just a little.  Oh, how I do miss him.

Today marked the beginning of the brief season of his end, but I am grateful to know that our earthly end is just the beginning of an eternity...together, forever, as family.

Headlines and Bottom Lines, with No Substance Between

Just sitting here, faintly shaking my head at friends who forward e-mail links or share posts about "interesting" articles.  Usually, those friends boldly, and with great conviction, comment about the content in order to sway opinion.  With due respect, I take the time to read through each article, formulate my own opinion, and offer a response.  More times than not, I receive a reply back that the sender/poster "did not actually read it yet."

What the...?!?

Hmmm. This is a frustrating pattern for someone like me: takes topic research seriously; wants to be educated; desires to gain understanding; weighs pros-and-cons to draw conclusions.

Lately, it seems that shock-and-awe headlines are appealing to the masses, who then (individually) jump to conclusions and forward their own bottom lines...expecting many followers.  Sure gives new insight to the concept of jumping forward.  And seriously calls into question where authors are getting their information?  From another headline?  Or a bottom line?  Is there any substance in-between?

Do facts, based on solid research, exist anymore?  Or, is it every opinion for itself?

So sad, really, how our techno-world of instant information is quickly becoming a society of mis-guided interpretation.