A Comforting Refuge

Lately, every temple trip offers me the serenity and peace my spirit craves, while providing me the boost I currently lack. My worth of self plummeted quickly upon discovery that my spouse clings to deep, dark addictions. It has been a difficult journey to gain peace in my broken marriage and trust in a spouse who betrays. I have not found healing in the same environment where continual deception abounds, so this summer I planned road trips with my daughter to temporarily remove myself from the toxic residue. The trips were designed in order to visit at least one temple, as well as some of the local restaurants or sites.

Together, my daughter and I entered Los Angeles, Provo City Center, and Ogden. I was actually endowed and sealed there before the incredible remodel, so it was a sentimental, yet new experience for me. We toured the grounds as she captured some fascinating photos of Twin Falls, Brigham City, Salt Lake, Provo, Payson, St. George, and Reno. We also attended the open house of Idaho Falls, and continue weekly attendance in Boise.

Outside the temple, the spirit bore solemn witness of truths surrounding the edifice the building represents. But something even more incredible transpired upon entering The House of the Lord. Numerous sisters and a few brethren who work inside each temple stepped out of their comfort zones to vocally assure my daughter and I how beautiful we are; that our presence is needed. Some have made comments which were answers to questions that only my Heavenly Father knew how to address. Still others have even mistaken us as sisters...and I wholly grace the compliments.

One such moment was in my own district temple, Boise. I had finished with initiatories and wound my way to the Celestial Room when a dear sister pulled me aside. With joy in her eyes, she gently held my arm and said, "I am so glad you came this way. We are not allowed to talk in the initiatory booths, and I just wanted you to know how beautiful you are!" Tears immediately welled in my eyes and all I could muster was a humble, "Thank you." I have since forgotten her name, but her genuine love for me, a complete stranger, will forever remain. Her words that day were real; they were felt deep to my core. I believed her.

In contrast, I struggle to believe any compliment my spouse may offer. Based on opposite actions, his dictated words only ring hollow.

How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who completely understands my needs; a father who sends tender mercies at crucial times. The uplifts have not only affected me, but have consoled my daughter, who often feels insignificant while battling a rare ovarian cancer.

For me, the temple is not only a place of learning, but a safe haven; a comforting refuge from any confusion in life.